Cold Turkey Pt. II

It's been almost 2 months since I quit going to Starbucks. Honestly, I have no desire to go back.

Cold turkey

I've been going to Starbucks a lot in the past lil while, and I started to realize something.

The drinks just aren't that special anymore. Starbucks wasn't a treat. It was just... expected. I went there because I was used to it, and I felt like it was what I needed.

So, only 16 22 days ago, I stopped going. And I decided to see how long I could hold out. Instead of Starbucks, I got my coffee fix every morning at Tim Horton's... $2.24 for an X-Large with 3 creams and 1 sugar (actually, I tried 5 creams at first, until I realized that was almost half my drink).

I went one week without Starbucks. The company then introduced their "$5 for $10" deal on Living Social, so I grabbed it. Thinking that it was a good deal, I went down to my local Starbucks and got an Earl Grey Tea latte (I had to pay full price, as I forgot my tea bags at home). I figured that maybe my body was too used to coffee and that a tea-based drink would hit the spot.

So, I took a sip... and realized I made a mistake in going to Starbucks... and getting that $5 card.

I then bought a 1/2 sweet white mocha... and got the same feeling. And recently, I got another white mocha Americano misto and felt the same. So, yes, in the last 22 days, I've been 4 times (I tried a mocha frap this morning, to see if it would hit the spot, and sadly, it hasn't).

Ever since then, I haven't been back. I know it hasn't been a long time, but two four disappointing drinks in a row have taught me that I don't need Starbucks. How is this relevant to you, Mr. / Ms. Reader?

The people that peruse this blog are primarily interested in saving money at Starbucks. But it seems to me that the best way to save at Starbucks is to simply not go there. At least, not while you can get a comparable drink for half the price at Tim Horton's or some other regular Joe coffee shop. For the foreseeable future, that's what I'm going to do.

Just say "Yes"

When dealing with an internal or external client in my line of work, I always appreciate it when my managers back me up and never discredit me in front of a client. It shows me that they care about respecting me as an employee, and to that end, I'm pretty willing to go the extra mile for them.

It seems like Starbucks doesn't care enough about their baristas to do the same thing. The company has a "Just Say 'Yes'" policy, wherein the employees and management are encouraged to do almost anything to retain a customer. But a commenter to this blog, "BaristaBoi", recently pointed out the problem with this policy:

"The misguided 'Just say yes' policy... has trained customers to be "rude, entitled people". It tells people that if they just cause a loud enough stink they will get their way. Starbucks is one of the only places I know, where I could literally never pay for a drink if I wanted to do it."

This guy is totally correct. Starbucks is so concerned with holding onto their client base whilst keeping their prices outrageously high that they'll do anything to keep said client base from leaving. Customers leverage that knowledge into exhibiting (at times) outrageous behavior in order to get what they want.

To me, this policy helps me understand why the level of morale is so low at the store level. Like I said, I'm a former partner, and the number of no-shows and the amount of turnover at my old store was staggering. How can the employees be invested in their job when the company is willing to sacrifice the dignity of their employee base to keep profits up?

I would imagine that Starbucks' HR Dept. (or whoever is in charge of hiring at the store level) feels that if the employees don't like management throwing them under the bus to back up the customer, they won't be able to do anything because of the unemployment numbers in the USA at present. Like I always say, you can't spell "Who cares?" without "HR".

This blog doesn't condone outrageous behavior. Yes, it does tell you how to get drinks for less. But to be perfectly frank, if you want to act out and throw a tantrum because you feel that your registered gold card entitles you to some sort of "elite status", then you're on your own. Just ask yourself one thing... when you exit the shop after acting like a complete donkey, are those condescending looks of pity / disgust worth it?

Be nice to your barista

If you're a fan of "The Big Bang Theory" like I am, you may have seen the episode "The Love Car Displacement", where Sheldon (unknowingly) makes a snarky remark to his waitress, Penny. Her reply:

You know, for a smart guy, you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept: "Don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat."

Now, take a brieft glance at the I hate Starbucks forum and have a read thru the following posts:

• Who did you decaf today?
• Has a customer ever made you cry?

These two seemingly dissimilar threads have a common theme: abused and mistreated baristas generally post to both.

When you go to Starbucks and order a drink, you can be like Sheldon, and not realize that angering the individual who handles your food food & drink isn't the smartest idea. Ways to annoy your barista include:

• not treating them like a human - i.e.; talking / texting / playing games on the phone while refusing eye contact);
• saying "please" and "thank you" - if you are one of those idiots who thinks that you don't need to say these words when you are buying something, you're beneath my notice and any comments you make will be deleted;
• refusing to tip - I don't tip everytime, but yesterday, my patient barista kindly allowed me to put a huge bundle of change that was clogging my wallet onto my Starbucks card. When she was done, I realized I had no change left, so I broke a large bill and tipped from that.
• any other disrespectful behavior - yelling, swearing, belittling the staff.

Most people that lack the understanding of social conventions (like Dr. Cooper) lack the brainpower to realize what the barista can do to your drink (unlike Sheldon). Having worked at Starbucks, I know that baristas can punish rude clients by screwing up their drinks. Methods include:

• substituting caffinated shots with decaf shots - the buttons to dispense decaf and caffinated shots are right beside each other on the Starbucks espresso machines, and unless you're an ex-barista like me, you'll never realize when they are being used.
• rinse shots - sometimes, the espresso machine needs to clear out excess grinds and water, and so they barista will clean it out with a rinse. But if you're a real jerk, that rinse might make it's way into your drink... and you won't notice (until later, when you're wondering, "Why am I so tired?")
• substituting non-fat milk or sugar-free syrups with unhealthy alternatives - generally, if you are a large person who treats his / her barista poorly, and then decides to order a non-fat beverage w/ sugar free syrup, I can guarantee you it's going to come with homogenized milk and the regular sugary syrup in it.
  
  This also happens when rude people order soy drinks; they get dairy. But sometimes, they can tell the difference. At that point, the barista will just apologize and claim it was made "in error".
• spitting in your drink - this doesn't happen often, because customers can see baristas that spit in their drinks.
  
  But if the store is empty, and you're being a jerk whilst using the drive-thru...

If you treat your barista poorly, you deserve whatever they put in your drink. I could tell you how to detect a rinse shot or a decaf shot, but I won't. I'm not interested in enabling disrespectful behavior.

Next week's rant: Starbucks managers who don't back up their employees (thanks to their misguided "Just Say 'Yes'" policy).

Justin the Spin Doctor (as in the same kind of Doctor as Dr. Nick)

Starbucks has a website called "My Starbucks Idea", a place for the customer base to make suggestions about how to make Starbucks better. But they don't listen. It's a front for them to appear engaged with thier clientele. Any suggestions they do take seriously aren't going to help you a whole lot; they are just good PR for the company.

One very common complaint on the site is that, despite the number of items purchased on your registered Starbucks card, you only get one star if you purchase them all in one transaction. Of course, Creative has shown you how to get around that.

Turns out that Starbucks has a mod on this forum called Justin, who replied to this common complaint.

Wow.
You have to read the "reasoning" this guy gives behind Starbucks not giving multiple stars for multiple items. It's beyond idiotic. I mean, if Starbucks wants to call this guy a spin doctor, then he's a doctor on the level of Dr. Nick.

Bye everybody!